I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
