He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
