You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
