Please, let me fuck your mom
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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