Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
