We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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