the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
