is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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