I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
