wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
