I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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