dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
