she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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