let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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