Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
