My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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