hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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