Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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