He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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