there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it because I queefed?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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