He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
