The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
