Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.

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(713): View more from Texas

I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum

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(607): View more from New York

The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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(406): View more from Montana

Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

So, just how hungover are you?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Not at all, surprisingly.

(580): View more from Oklahoma

That has to be your X-Men power.

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(207): View more from Maine

I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work

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