Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
