Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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