I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
