..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I bet he comes in French.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
