My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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