my mouth tastes like poor choices
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize