8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
