I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
