OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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