hotel room ftw
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
