sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
