whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
