we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
