I like to think it a success when the cops are called
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize