Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
