so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize