He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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