oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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