Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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