At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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