do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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