You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
how does that bad decision feel?
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