And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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