hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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