Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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