if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize