why didn't you poke me back
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize