i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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