After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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