Define "chronic" masturbator.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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