living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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