We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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