I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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