Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
