All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
