Cold hands, warm shart.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
