Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize