You can't motorboat a personality
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
